Tom,
I appreciate your feedback. To date, the written remarks were favorable. But we always have to ask about those who do not write! Here in OPF, it's our job to help the other folk, each one on a unique journey. Yes, you dig at the clothes, positions and framing. I do not find that a barrier to discovering value out of your comments. Being truthful, even if presented colorfully, is far better than silence or empty flattery.
It's all a bit put of context or is it my working class brain at it again?
Perhaps, Tom, but I cannot reflexly allow that to shield me from what is seen in that perspective. The process that has to go with criticism is to be open to the new view of things but at the same time protect one's own sense of what has value. In the end, even if unpopular and unsold, my own view of things must remain central or else I can't do more work. First I have to satisfy myself. If the work I do moves me, gives me some pleasure or worthy experience, then maybe others might enjoy it too. Now I do want to have others interested in my photography, so your feedback, especially since it's harsh, is valuable to me to look at seriously.
"Working class brain"? Besides the obvious self-depreciating humor, the position others stake out does come partly from their community on the stage of art. This will alter and color how they look at any work. Those with less experience might be easily won over, those with expertise might give that great redirection or they too could be plain wrong.
The toning is a bit overdone, is she getting into bed or out of it. Either way she has her jacket on backwards and few women I know wear jewelry to bed. She's also getting in the wrong end. And what's that knobby thing at the foot of the bed? A boot, her hand bag? In that first one she looks like she has her hair on backwards as well.
There's probably some symbolism here but I can't get past the anomalies.
Well, presumably these comments are directed at the more richly-toned first picture, including what was there in the room at that time. As to the setup and plan. We completed a series of pictures to celebrate her dog who's getting into time for forced retirement with cancer. Outwardly the dog's happy but theres' a lot of trouble within. At the end of the shoot, I asked my assistant and colleague if she was up to continuing on a series of images with the falling light on her back. She agreed. Now she's not a model and doesn't slip her clothes off to pose as part of her life. So I let her get ready and then came in and then eventually took that first picture shown here as she had become more relaxed by then. The jacket inverted? That's her way of "partially disrobing" and I liked the frame it makes for her body. The necklace? I missed it or else, if there, you'd see the pendant too.
There's no attempt here to please anyone, but the two of us involved in making the pictures. That's the beginning and end of it, an extra shoot on a project we've considered for some time, but not actually planned out.
How about just catching her at the edge of the frame and having the boot on the far left with her knickers hanging discretely on the bed. A little more face, just enough to know what she's been up to. Get a white shirt for her and loose the jacket.
But who am I to know. I like being out in the street.
You did ask, Asher.
Tom,
She'd have such a white shirt, had she stayed overnight with one of my sons, but, that never happens or happened nor is it planned. She's a colleague not a playmate. I do stage pictures, but not this one. First I record what's there then gradually change pose and position by request to sculpt the forms I find interesting.
It's also a very standard use of space in the frame. Not very adventurous, not even sexy. I might ned a dose of Viagra to get a hard on looking at this one.
Standard space assignments, perhaps. This
may be valid but the hardest to correct. Viagra? Now I do have a considerable store of the stuff from a sales rep, but it's there for emergencies. Still, after 15 years of safekeeping, I don't seem to have a use of it. So, just maybe, I'll provide a supply, (of some of my store), to anyone who buys a print, LOL!
As to composition, there I'm flummoxed. I'm not trying to be different, just to frame beautifully. Is it important to shock people with composition?
For sure, I'll reread your critique many times as I wouldn't want to short-change myself of hints to allow better images to be made.
Asher
