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  #1  
Old September 10th, 2017, 08:39 PM
Asher Kelman Asher Kelman is offline
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Default Banning a member who's photography I have liked!

Some of you may know that we have been struggling with one male Aussie member who posts a bunch and then is off in some temper for a while and in the process insulted and infuruated more than a few OPFrs.

My solution in such very rare cases with folk here, has been to act as referee, edit out demeaning words and try to keep the peace. Recently, however, I have come to realize that my solution with this one person, only empowered his flaming and the person still has the mean satisfaction of insulting, and trashing others then watching, at no personal cost, how it is all covered over.

My apologies for stretching this out. He is now gone permanently!

We'll follow the wishes of all here to maintain a positive uplifitng experience. This is a unique photographic forum that errs on the side of openness in discussion, but relies on the manners of all who share this free space.

Thanks for your support and understanding.

Asher
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  #2  
Old September 11th, 2017, 01:02 AM
Nicolas Claris Nicolas Claris is offline
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Bonjour Asher,
As I know you more than you think ; ) , I do know that you have waited long before going on and remove that fellow. Too long? Never! you gave him many many chances to act with a better behavior. You didn't succeed, but I least you tried and it's all to your honor.
I remember we've long discussed this case thru PMs where I was the advocate to allow provocation and pushed boundaries as it helps to move our minds, get creative, be open minded and accept different opinions. However repeated insults and flaming is not within OPF's rules because we're here for the passion and love for photography and photographers (sometimes for our models too! : ) .
Commenting an image, no one is right, no one is wrong. There are only different perceptions, different opinions, different ways of watching, discussing this is enriching each of us, provided that we do it "around a cup of tea or coffee or red/white wine, even rosé! an even a soft drink or good fresh water. Ice with your whisky? Milk and sugar with your coffee? We"ve all so many different preferences, that is make OPF so rich!
There are so many ways to enjoy being on Earth, there are so many ways to fight injustice and poorness…
As photographers we are witnesses of our lives! let's share and try to be better.

In a way, a few days ago, I was not so far away of this thread's subject…
http://www.openphotographyforums.com...68&postcount=2

PS However:
- I will miss that guy pushing so far away our thoughts and certainties…
- I will not miss reading insults and flaming stuffs
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Last edited by Nicolas Claris; September 11th, 2017 at 05:18 AM.
  #3  
Old September 11th, 2017, 09:06 AM
Doug Kerr Doug Kerr is offline
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Hi, Nicolas,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicolas Claris View Post
- I will miss that guy pushing so far away our thoughts and certainties…
- I will not miss reading insults and flaming stuffs
Well said, mon ami.

Best regards,

Doug
  #4  
Old September 11th, 2017, 09:40 AM
Jarmo Juntunen Jarmo Juntunen is online now
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Asher, for what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. We are all here to have fun. When outside the web I avoid stupid people because there's nothing to be gained from interaction with them. Why should an internet forum be any different. This particular individual reminds me of a cocky teenager who covers his insecurity in rudeness. Between adults we don't have to take that from anyone.
  #5  
Old September 11th, 2017, 10:48 AM
Jerome Marot Jerome Marot is offline
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You don't need to apology for stretching this out. Actually, it works in your favour that you were patient. As to whether you did the right thing or not by banning Tom Dinning permanently, I dont know: whatever offending words which were posted have been deleted in the mean time and I am not easily offended anyway, so I may not be the right person to judge.
  #6  
Old September 11th, 2017, 11:24 AM
Asher Kelman Asher Kelman is offline
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Jerome,

I must admit, it's pretty fast to edit out insults, but it takes time to placate victims, over and over again. Worse, occasionally the offended are not mild either. The background work is the most draining, like a black hole for my time and endurance. In the past year, the fellow was goading me to dare to fire him. Insulting people was his right, otherwise he would feel constrained! He boasted how he had the right to "piss in the swimming pool" at whim! Then he got into targetting me in his private messages with tropes and more that essentially made him impossible to compromise with. Even at that advanced negative stage I offered him an email outlet for his uncensored "open" talk to me, personally, as long as he just focused on his good photography in the forum. That, he asserted would be changing him!

The are lots of good things in a shop window I can't have either. Tom's contributions falls into that category. For sure a pity, but everyone has the free choice of how to behave and then must accept the consequences.

Asher
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Our purpose is getting to an impressive photograph. So we encourage browsing and then feedback. Consider a link to your galleries annotated, C&C welcomed. Images posted within OPF are assumed to be for Comment & Critique, unless otherwise designated.
  #7  
Old September 11th, 2017, 02:25 PM
fahim mohammed fahim mohammed is offline
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"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."

I have found the wisdom of the wise to be an excellent substitute for my lack of wisdom.

J.F.K said it very succinctly " forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."
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  #8  
Old September 11th, 2017, 02:43 PM
Antonio Correia Antonio Correia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicolas Claris View Post
...
PS However:
- I will miss that guy pushing so far away our thoughts and certainties…
- I will not miss reading insults and flaming stuffs
I agree with Nicolas. I am sorry he is gone.

He told me he would be coming to Portugal next year. I will be glad to welcome him !

As any of you, of course !

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  #9  
Old September 11th, 2017, 04:01 PM
Asher Kelman Asher Kelman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Antonio Correia View Post
I agree with Nicolas. I am sorry he is gone.

He told me he would be coming to Portugal next year. I will be glad to welcome him !

As any of you, of course !

The fish is the best!

Asher
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Follow us on Twitter at @opfweb

Our purpose is getting to an impressive photograph. So we encourage browsing and then feedback. Consider a link to your galleries annotated, C&C welcomed. Images posted within OPF are assumed to be for Comment & Critique, unless otherwise designated.
  #10  
Old September 11th, 2017, 10:12 PM
Asher Kelman Asher Kelman is offline
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I actually shouldn't be let off the hook so easily. I was so obsessed with retaining Tom's photography, that I allowed people I really respect to be hurt over and over. So my "patience" while sounding admirable, was actually selfish and in retrospect I wouldn't be so forgiving if I was one of the main targets of the mysogenistic and racist opprobrium I excised regularly, often within minutes of being posted.

I will not repeat the mistake, but I have not met anyone else who gets joy at disassembling others for some perceived or discovered weakness. In others, when informed of a slight or insult, there is some recognition and apology. With this story, there is recognition and utter satisfaction!

The nearest I have seen in another individual in my entire life is no other than Donald Trump! The fact that I sanitized the writing every day to make it appear just merely "barrier testing" and "original" I let down those who were hurt.

It's hard to believe I did what I would immediately call out in any one else!

Asher
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Our purpose is getting to an impressive photograph. So we encourage browsing and then feedback. Consider a link to your galleries annotated, C&C welcomed. Images posted within OPF are assumed to be for Comment & Critique, unless otherwise designated.
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