I shot his Taiko drum performer at the Obon Dance Festival in NYC's Bryant Park.
John,
The subject, as David points out, is potentially a powerful figure. Here there is more difficulty for the picture beyond the drummer "looking away". Wherever he looked would not rescue the picture at this particular moment in time! It's simple, really, nothing is happening newsworthy. No one is being shot! He is not smashing a shop window. He's not beautiful, nor holy. There's no seduction evident. So none of the extra parameters that boost interest are really present.
It's the physicality of the man that should and must hold our interest. However, what he's doing is complex. There are likely only rare moments that everything falls in a place of satisfying and pleasing position with respect to all the diverse components. This may be as difficult as composing the hawk getting its prey!
So it let's examine the form
1. His red headband is the most demanding-of-attention focus point.
2.There is no escape from it and that's an issue. Nothing in the image is as strong.
3. Outside of it, what do we have? Only competing disorder of criss-cross lines, with no sense of either tension or harmony. There's only disorder! So the timing was wrong. I don’t know it could have been right, but I feel pretty certain that here, considering the field of view included in the photograph, the image ends up with no defining form that's of interest. Even the disorder could be of interest if there was some structure to it, but even the disorder has no opposition to contain or balance it.
4. Desaturating the red headband allows some improvement but not enough.
The solution here is to look to see what might be the "essence". It may still be there in a partially desaturated image center strip. It takes in the cross of the drums sticks around which we can see the path he's going in the parade. This would mean cropping away most of the drum to the left, and much of the man to the right. Everything, to the right of where the black straps come together, would go! Although this crop is, I admit, extreme, it does isolate components that work together.
I think there maybe a better composition in adjacent frames. In any case, this may need to be staged or else I'd use a D3 or Canon 1D Mark II or better and at 8 frames a second, you might be lucky.
Good try!
Life can be tough, but this is good work and it pays well!
Asher