Alain,
its a statement and not an essay. Please re write and give examples and evidence for your thoughts, if you dont then they are just opinion.
Hope this helps you fine tune it.
cheers
Any essay does not have to be factual.
"An essay is a short piece of writing which is often written from an author's personal point of view. Essays can consist of a number of elements, including: literary criticism, political manifestos, learned arguments, observations of daily life, recollections, and reflections of the author. The definition of an essay is vague, overlapping with those of an article and a short story. Almost all modern essays are written in prose, but works in verse have been dubbed essays (e.g. Alexander Pope's An Essay on Criticism and An Essay on Man)." Wikipedia
Here, in Alain's writing, there are some facts but mostly personal reflections on his own experience. The personal part is the most interesting. Universalizing this is the step that is fraught with danger as the inferences are far to large to take with just limited anecdotal support.
Asher