Hi Oli,
I waited a while before posting to see what the reaction might be. For me, at least, this nice picture is a challenge to react to because of the very qualities that make it work! The asymmetry of the subject balanced by seemingly incoherent and pointless space with poorly focussed ground.
So let me show a shrunk version, (albeit with some careful local sharpening to the foot and somewhat to the bracelet). I'd say it has immediate impact.
After a long time i went out with my friends...
This is one of my favourite shot i took...
Now, if you accept my impression that the smaller picture seems more effective, at least on a small screen, then what's going on. Here's the issue. When we look at pictures which depend on composition using essentially empty space or balance with other lesser objects or complex motif, then one must get the whole canvas in ones view. There really should be a generous margin all around it. In that way, the pictures physicality can be enjoyed as something unique, separated from the clutter of the surrounding world. Here it's the text on the page.
Now perhaps we can discuss your picture and give it the attention it deserves. I think that putting a smaller picture with the larger one might be a great idea.
Asher